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You’ve heard all of the horror stories: about date-rape, terrible guys or girls, or even about the dreaded “I left a wedding and I’ll never get my garter back,” or “He never called again.” Yeah, those don’t sound like the modern dating experiences you want to go through. If you’re looking to change that, you’re in luck—I’m here to tell you everything you need to know about the modern dating scene. While there are many steps to a successful date, just don’t wait to do any of them.

You have to know your worth

The goal is not to impress this particular person with your wit or your body but to make sure you are ready to go on a date. Here are some things you should know before you go out on a date—and any dating advice that comes after that.

Know your boundaries. It’s hard to give bad advice when you are saying you’re not going to have sex on a first date. But if you are getting a bit too deep and it feels like you’re crossing a line, stop and move on. It’s unfair to expect someone to give you a relationship based on sex, and you should never feel obligated to be in a relationship solely based on intimacy.

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If you are getting a little too into it, keep in mind that it’s okay to go in with your guard up. If you come on too strong, the other person may sense it and back off.

You have to be comfortable

You have to make sure that you’re as comfortable with yourself as you are with the other person. Go ahead and ask about their job or their hobbies, but be wary of what they say. If they give you some incredibly personal information, and you find yourself in a situation where you couldn’t be expected to keep it to yourself, it’s fine to ask about it. But if you’re uncomfortable, it’s okay to just quickly change the subject to something non-personal.

You have to get good at relationships.

This is not a recipe for success. I’m saying this because, as I’m sure you can imagine, any time you start dating someone (or any time you date someone, really), you run the risk of being insecure and anxious.

It’s okay to be anxious about going on a date. Before you go
One of the most common questions we get asked is, “Do I need to be asked out to be in a relationship?” There is no one perfect question that you need to ask somebody or that you want to ask somebody to be in a relationship, but there is at least one question that is a good one, and that is, “Do you want to be in a relationship?”

At Thought Catalog, we believe that if you’re not happy with yourself, you’re not going to be a happy person in a relationship. Relationships do not change that. So the first question you need to answer for yourself is this: Do you want to be in a relationship? If you want to be in a relationship, then you need to know that you’re not going to find a 100% perfect match with everybody you date. There is no such thing as a perfect match. If you want to be in a relationship, you need to be ready for that. If you want to get into a relationship, you can’t keep putting out a feed for somebody to come and harvest. You need to stop looking for a match, and start looking for a connection.

Ask Your Body What You Need I would love to tell you that the answer to finding your partner can be found in the most sophisticated of scientific studies and personal dating guides, but the answer is not in a questionnaire. The answer to finding your partner can be found in your body.

To me, your body is the ultimate barometer of how you feel. What you need, what you want, what you are feeling. And your body will let you know if you’re looking for a relationship. If you’re looking for a relationship, are you feeling it? Are you experiencing the feeling? Do you want to be in a relationship? If you have ever felt the rush of having a girlfriend, you will also know that your body will start calling you out and saying, “Yeah, I want to be in a relationship, I have things I want to do with you.” It’s as simple as that. As a relationship coach myself, I often say to my clients that the key to a successful relationship is having a healthy mind and being healthy as a person. If you have healthy relationships in your life, then you’re going to feel confident. If you have a healthy mind, then you’re going to be able to let go of how