According to a May 2011 study, college students who reported that they used alcohol and drugs more than their classmates also reported having sex more than their classmates did — and most of them were men.
If casual sex makes you feel inadequate, insecure, self-conscious or guilty, it may be best not to indulge. But this is important to understand. If you felt stress and pressure before casual sex, and you’re with someone who is also stressed and pressured, you may feel the same stress and pressure at the end of the night, and to the next day. So, if you feel an anxiety or depression afterwards, you may need to seek help before you partake in another casual sex encounter.
Trust me, casual sex is great — and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Pick the person you want
You may think you’ve lost your virginity. To be sure, the first time is supposed to be special, and it is — usually. But this doesn’t mean it has to be the first time.
Start thinking about which person you want to date or have sex with. How old are they? What do they look like? How about their style? What are their beliefs? Do they drink? What are their job or family status? Don’t worry; you can cover all of these bases before the first time.
Have some kinky sex
If you’re new to casual sex, this might be a better time to experiment with a few kinky things. If your casual hookup is only concerned about keeping you satisfied with a foreplay session, then there’s nothing wrong with that, of course. But if your casual hookup is into something kinky like role-playing, fetishes, or BDSM, then by all means, do what feels right!
Having casual sex can be a way to learn about yourself, and your body, as you have new experiences — that’s true about any sex adventure, and it certainly holds true for casual sex. The more you take part in and explore sex, the more comfortable you’ll feel with sex in general, and with yourself.
If you’re new to casual sex, having some kinky sex with a stranger can be an exciting, intimate experience, and it also can be a learning tool for sexuality that can help you decide what works for you. If you don’t want to do a formal date before your first time, then go ahead and have fun with some safe kinky sex. Make sure to be up front about whatever kinks you
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You heard it right, casual sex is healthy. So long as you have an objective and you both enjoy it. Plenty of people do have lots of casual sexual experiences without actually considering themselves addicted, just because that’s simply what comes natural to us. Much to our surprise, we can give ourselves permission to enjoy these casual sexual experiences, which we turn into something completely new and empowering. We don’t have to be a part of a relationship in order to have great sex. What a beautiful thought.
This heightened sense of positivity and satisfaction with our sexuality, whether it be sexual or in general, actually make us who we are. We become a kind person, we become friendly, we become open minded. The result is a happier and contented person, and in the end, that’s what we all want, isn’t it?
It may sound cliché at this point, but it all comes down to being yourself and doing what you want to do. But like I stated above, it’s also a lot more complex. For example, if your emotional connection with this person is great, if you truly enjoy this person’s company, and if you really want to know what being intimate is about, then you might want to ask yourself if you want to get into a relationship. It’s entirely up to you.
There was a time when it was taboo to talk about the idea of casual sex. Now, it’s normal. “If people are willing to have sex without the long-term possibility of a relationship, if they’re willing to act out the sexual expression of desires for other people without having to actually like the person, then it’s a red flag that something else is going on.” – Francine Prose, The Science of Pleasure
The fourth most notable reason to avoid casual sex (besides physical problems) is guilt. But I shouldn’t have such high ideals for my self-image. I’m not like that. I’m not good at maintaining long-term relationships. I’m not good at enjoying great sex. I’m insecure, I’m weird, I’m socially awkward, I’m attracted to all sorts of people, and I like sex too much. Is that really what it means to be a man? I’m afraid so. I’m afraid to be intimate with someone I don’t feel a real connection with. I’m afraid to trust them completely because then I might get my heart broken. I’m afraid to be single. I’m afraid to commit myself to someone and then fuck
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